What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Can a cop pull you over walking home asking why you are out so late?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At what point did you realize it was the right time to leave your job?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Is Trump the greatest spiritual leader since Jesus?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do I sweat a great deal while exercising the same on some days and not so much on others?

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

How likely do TWS earbuds explode these days? I'm still using wired earbud because I'm paranoid.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.